On 01.02.02, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Too late for surgery, I had chemotherapy, which failed. In May the chemotherapy was changed and I was soon in remission which was celebrated and welcome and lasted nine years - until October 2011. There was progression in 2011 so more treatment was indicated and I am now back in partial remission. But I'm not only a cancer patient - I also enjoy my family, walk my dogs and am learning to draw and paint. Life is good!

Monday, April 08, 2013

Fighting pain . . . again

Today was a medical appointment day - one appointment, lots of follow-up with pharmacists. What I learned from the oncologist was that the last treatment, Gemzar, failed. The pain was not seen as from radiation burning, but from the tumor. The oncologist expected the pain to improve, not worsen.

So a new treatment was begun, two pills taken daily, one of which was just approved. Demi, as you can see, went along for - to her - one more boring day at the clinic.  She was either standing in line with me or standing in line with Steve, but it wasn't play-day with the nurses.  In fact, since the treatment failed, tomorrow's chemotherapy was cancelled and we have the day to ourselves at home.

I was able to get the patch doubled so I'm hoping there will be less pain this next week.  I was also given another "jug" of liquid morphine. The nurse said I can have as much as I want, that I shouldn't be living with pain.  I guess that means I'm terminal.  I mean, if I can have as much morphine as I want, what does that say to me?  I was trying to keep it down to one dose per hour, but even that wasn't enough.  She also said that I will sleep all day tomorrow as I gradually get used to the higher dosage.

Tomorrow..... day off!


  1. ((hugs)) No words to say that can make any difference. Feel inadequate. Hope the pain does get more under control without too much morphine. As long as you aren't trying to ignore the pain and under-dosing yourself!

  2. Like Thandi, I'm having a hard time finding words. Sending hugs and hopes. Love your sunflowers!


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