On 01.02.02, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Too late for surgery, I had chemotherapy, which failed. In May the chemotherapy was changed and I was soon in remission which was celebrated and welcome and lasted nine years - until October 2011. There was progression in 2011 so more treatment was indicated and I am now back in partial remission. But I'm not only a cancer patient - I also enjoy my family, walk my dogs and am learning to draw and paint. Life is good!

Saturday, February 09, 2013

Pain on top of pain

My left eye is absolutely driving me nuts!  Isn't cancer enough?  Today was a no energy day and I was in bed, flat on my back, all day.  Steve put drops in my eye every few hours and I held a warm compress to the area the rest of the time.  Today is Day Two, I don't know how long conjunctivitis typically lasts.

I was able to eat more today, the one good thing.  Every time Steve brought me something I made an honest effort to give it a good try, if not finish.  My body feels as though it never wants food again, but I recognize that as not an option if I want to live. (I do.)  A friend brought over some Angel's Pie, a favorite of mine but I didn't know the name - I sure recognized the flavor with the first bite - and Steve prepared small, but regular meals and I did my very best.  There was no walking today, but at least I was eating.

It would help to know how long the eye symptoms will last.  Some infections begin to clear in just a few days, but I don't know what to expect in this case.

The surgical pain has been higher today.  I'm allowed morphine every hour and for several hours that's what I was doing, every hour on the hour.  Now I seem to be on top of it and am hoping to get through the night without anything extra.  What a year this has been!

Forgive me for being such a whiny butt - if you were reading my blog some years back you know this is so not typical of me.  Usually I'm focussed on the weather, plants, my animals, friends and visits, activities, making things, the political scene and reading, taking the kids here and there, enjoying life.  These days it feels as though it's all about pain relief. So not me!


  1. Hi Barbara
    Conjunctivitis usually makes your eye itchy, watery, and irritated, but it doesn't usually cause too much severe pain. Make sure you get it checked again in case you were misdiagnosed. Don't worry about your posts. I don't know how you are functioning at all with all the pain and medication and still manage your blog.

  2. I think you have reason to whine- sometimes it is being able to whine about our lots that allows us to move past what we are whining about!
    I hope your eye starts feeling better soon- and hopefully you'll have more energy soon!

  3. Oh my goodness, the conjunctivitis is like insult to injury--I hope that it's winding down by now and that you've had a good Sunday.

  4. Eye pain on top of everything else is definitely something to whine about! And no appetite? That sticks. After having that obstruction that caused you to have to go on tube feedings for a while it seems only fair that you should get to enjoy some foods now. Lady, I'd be crying a lot too if I were you. I'd probably be cussing and a lot more too. (throwing things is my favored way of letting off steam).


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