Staying alive

The pain is almost totally under control,  but I'm still quite nauseous and generally weak.  I've been in bed for most of the last three weeks and feel quite awful.  You'd think, with all that free time, I'd at least sit up and read, but that's asking way too much most of the time.  Steve has become my full time nurse, which is a good thing.  He writes down pills and times - also good because I change my mind at the last minute -- no, not that one, it'll make me throw up!  I feel so sorry for Steve, I really do, he's on duty 24-7 - and I need that.  I keep reminding myself that this isn't really about cancer, it's about the side effects from radiation in very tender places.  My numbers keep improving, I could well be remission. If I had known what was going to happen, I wonder if I would have been so agreeable about the treatment.  On the other hand, were there really options?