Determined!
The petunias in the front window box are one of life's little pleasures from this summer. Someone was giving away plants at the senior center in June when I was there for an art class. I planted them and have been happily watching their progress. It's little things like that that give me far more pleasure than ever. Getting things organized and within manageable control works too. I figure I can't die until I clean my room and clear out the garage - which means I'll be around for a while because those are big tasks. I want to spend the entire winter sorting and getting rid of. I don't want anyone to have to clean up after me when I die, that's the niggling thought.
Onc sent a pathology report yesterday and I was bummed and disappointed. If it had said, "The tumor we knew about is still there, didn't shrink enough through chemotherapy, and, since it's a metastasis we need to figure out a way to get rid of it but radiology seems like a viable option" I probably wouldn't have dipped so badly because that's my language and level of comprehension. Instead it had medicalese and sounded much worse, like maybe I was at the beginning of the end. In the light of day I think it's only a blip. My understanding is that it's small and contained.
I'm still pissed that I had to drop out of my art class last October so this better not be a repeat of that. My one goal is to make it through the entire semester and to complete every project by its due date. If others want to catch and zap me, that's their game, I've got painting to do.
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