|Last week's lunch at The Tides in Bodega Bay.|
Sea lions were swimming past our window view.
Usually it works in my favor. I listen to an audio book while Steve and the dogs are sleeping. Last night, with a mind whirring at top speed, I just got up.
A couple days ago I withdrew from the beginning painting class I was enjoying so much. I have missed more classes than I've attended, I'm in fairly constant pain, the class runs until 10:00 p.m. and it's a good 45 minutes away and now I'm about to begin a new course of chemotherapy. Topping it off, I don't even enjoy acrylic painting enough to make that sort of effort. So I dropped out. Mostly I feel sad about that, but in some ways it's a relief.
Last night, after I got up, I headed to my "studio" in the kitchen and cleared away the tubes of paint I had been using for homework assignments, back when I started off well and actually did the homework. The paint is still there, it's just not all set up. I dismantled the tabletop easel and put it in a closet. I don't like working on easels, I prefer the stability of a table.
The truth is, I like to work with pen and ink, colored pencil, Crayola crayons, sometimes watercolor and not much else. Acrylic paint isn't even on the list although I will probably work on my Halloween mask during the week so I have something to take in to the boys next Monday. And once in a while I'll probably surprise myself and pull out a blank panel and paint a bird or animal portrait, something I prefer to the still lives of class. That's no offense to the instructor - she's my favorite, I just don't enjoy that sort of work no matter how instructional or traditional it might be.
So, while I have spent zero time at my kitchen art table in the entire past month or more, I'm hoping the new setup will inspire me to tackle the botanicals I love so much and always, birds and animals. I need to do something in that space, but, alas, class assignments it won't be. This is the second year in a row that I've gone into her class full of enthusiasm and cancer has forced me out.