On 01.02.02, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Too late for surgery, I had chemotherapy, which failed. In May the chemotherapy was changed and I was soon in remission which was celebrated and welcome and lasted nine years - until October 2011. There was progression in 2011 so more treatment was indicated and I am now back in partial remission. But I'm not only a cancer patient - I also enjoy my family, walk my dogs and am learning to draw and paint. Life is good!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Losing it

Persimmon trees are full of ripe fruit throughout the valley now.  The persimmons are ready to pick when there isn't a single leaf on the tree and only the dark silhouette remains, sort of like Christmas balls left on and forgotten.  The branches are gnarled and the bark is a series of mosaic patches.  I would love to have such a tree, but alas, there's no space to plant one.

I went postal today, something I try to save for maybe two special occasions each year and I don't think today quite qualified.  I wasn't feeling well so Steve drove me for a nadir blood draw - the time in each chemo cycle when my blood counts are lowest.  I keep feeling like I'm going to faint, something I've only done once, about a month ago.  I was standing by the car hanging on to the door until the sensation passed and then we walked into the lab.

We chose after lunch because that's a time when the fewest people are around and I'm not supposed to be hanging out with sick patients in a waiting room.  Sure enough, there was no line at all - but the registration person walked out of the room as I walked in.  So I stood and waited and waited and waited until she returned.

She came back with a giant economy bag full of specimen cups.  She opened the bag, dumped the contents into a special bin, leveled the array and disposed of the bag.  Her housekeeping task completed, she answered the phone, then called me to her desk.  She took another phone call.  A technician walked by at that moment so she turned to her with a "You won't believe who that was...." and they discussed the call.  Then she took a third call.  Someone walked by and they had a little chat.  By then I'd had it.  "I hope you have time to register me...." I began.  And when she answered defensively I threw a mini tantrum - "You have no customer service skills whatsoever!" and, of course, all the sick people in the waiting room turned to look.  I was so very angry, wishing I had one of those mean Juvie kids with me to jerk a knot in her tail.

I only have one more special occasion left in all of 2012 and it's only January.....


  1. Sorry you got angry and frustrated. It's never a fun feeling, but it sounds very understandable given the circumstances!

    How about this? The next time I feel like losing it, I'll try to stop myself so that you can have one extra "occasion" in 2012 if you need it ; )

  2. I think you have a very good excuse - when you don't feel well, a situation which might make you mad at the best of times can really send you over the edge.
    I hope you feel better soon though- and that your dizziness passes!

  3. Rebecca - Your generosity knows no bounds!

    Hi Rachel - Thank you for the support!

  4. You GO GIRL... You DESERVE to be treated with respect you are after all the CUSTOMER and without YOU that young lady would not have a job. I don't have a lot of tolerance for rude people and she was rude times 3. I'll keep you in my prayers... hang in there and don't let it get you down.

  5. Thank you, Elaine. For a while there I thought maybe I was going off the rails!

  6. Did you throw a magazine? If you haven't thrown something it doesn't count. That was perfectly understandable and people should be a lot more sensitive than they generally are. Love the persimmon tree btw.

  7. Susan, you are so very kind!

  8. You deserve a "throw two tantrums, the third one's free" discount for 2012. So, you have two more for the year, not one.

  9. Thanks, John. Here's hoping I don't have to use your discount!

  10. Annie9:51 PM

    I really don't think that counts as one if it happens in a office like that.


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