On 01.02.02, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Too late for surgery, I had chemotherapy, which failed. In May the chemotherapy was changed and I was soon in remission which was celebrated and welcome and lasted nine years - until October 2011. There was progression in 2011 so more treatment was indicated and I am now back in partial remission. But I'm not only a cancer patient - I also enjoy my family, walk my dogs and am learning to draw and paint. Life is good!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Like waiting in a bus station

Surgery was yesterday and I was home by late afternoon, much later than I had been led to believe but I was quite wobbly and had trouble waking up.  Today I feel awful and that's all I can say.  I'm taking every pain med allowed on the moment it is allowed and wish I had more.  I didn't expect the recovery part to be this difficult.  I'm hanging on the phone for the pathology report, but it wasn't promised until maybe Friday.  I am concerned about the stage, depth, possible chemotherapy, invasiveness, etc.  Once I have that report in my hot little hands I can google every single word and get a clearer picture of what's happening.  Everyone seems so hopeful and, for some reason, I don't.  Is that anxiety or a deeper knowledge?


  1. The last time I waited in a bus station I had to try to hold my suitcase off the floor when I used the restroom. Getting on the bus we were greeted with police who asked if they could search our luggage. Those who said no got pulled off the bus. I guess that sounds about how much fun you are having right now! I hope the pain doesn't last long and the pathology report comes quickly. I am also hoping it is anxiety providing your angst right now and not a deeper knowledge!

  2. Barbara, I hope the day dawns brighter for you tomorrow. The pine trees in the image you chose for today look like they are struggling, yet optimistic (to me, anyway)...and of course you're concerned about results, who wouldn't be? And pain, it's a hard road when one has to watch the clock like that. It brings back memories of ICU after an accident and surgery, and oh, the minute hands sweep sooo slowly when the pain meds wear off. I wish you well, good sleep, and comfort, and of course, good news!

  3. What a beautiful image of luminous hills & sky, Barbara. I hope the waiting time goes quickly.

  4. Thank you, all of you, for your kind words and support. I'm keeping it together, mostly.... - Barbara

  5. I pray for you for good results! AMEN.
    Hugs and blessings.


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