On 01.02.02, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Too late for surgery, I had chemotherapy, which failed. In May the chemotherapy was changed and I was soon in remission which was celebrated and welcome and lasted nine years - until October 2011. There was progression in 2011 so more treatment was indicated and I am now back in partial remission. But I'm not only a cancer patient - I also enjoy my family, walk my dogs and am learning to draw and paint. Life is good!

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

New life soon?

Steve baked for the floor staff and brought his Greek pastries in this morning.  One of the nurses made a nice thank you note for him.  My understanding is that they flew off the table in the break room in short order.

I may possibly go home tomorrow, but don't know for sure.  The doctors rotate every few days and one I've never met will be here tomorrow.  So it will be his opinion and decision plus my status in the morning. If it isn't tomorrow it will certainly be soon - unless I throw up and reset the clock.

The truth is, I'm ambivalent.  As much as I want to go home - today is the 16th day - I'm also concerned about managing the pain when I can't just call a nurse.  I'll have liquid morphine, extended release morphine, other prescriptions for break-through pain, but the pain - when it happens - is beyond horrendous and I don't want to be helpless when it strikes. Today, for example, I was only able to walk 15 minutes because the meds just weren't kicking in the way I expected. If I lie very still usually things settle down.

Either way, I know I'll be back on Friday for a previously scheduled surgical procedure - changing the kidney stent that was placed in August.  I look forward to the general anesthesia for that - a pain-free hour or so.

I understand Michael Jackson more and more.


  1. Anonymous5:29 PM

    I am so sorry you are having to endure such horror. It isn't fair. I have never met you but I can tell just by your writing that I would be your friend. I love art, literature, dogs and even chickens. I know you don't know me and please don't take this the wrong way but from one human being to another human being in this great big universe I am praying for you. You deserve better than this pain...and I am asking God to take all of this cancer out of your body and restore you back to the lovely woman who loves dogs, paints flowers and holds chickens.

    Just me in South Dakota

  2. Dear Anon in SD - What a generous, thoughtful message! Thank you so much.


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