On 01.02.02, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Too late for surgery, I had chemotherapy, which failed. In May the chemotherapy was changed and I was soon in remission which was celebrated and welcome and lasted nine years - until October 2011. There was progression in 2011 so more treatment was indicated and I am now back in partial remission. But I'm not only a cancer patient - I also enjoy my family, walk my dogs and am learning to draw and paint. Life is good!

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Incremental steps

I am starting to panic about the weekend.  I can't stand or transfer by myself - or by enduring extreme pain - and I'm not sure how I'm going to manage.  I've had two surgeries in four days and the the pain is beyond anything I've ever had to endure by myself.  I keep forgetting that I can ring for nurses - and that Steve is also around.  Each day is a bit better than the day before, but only a bit.  Pain is pain, and this pain is well beyond what I can tolerate.  Yesterday's nurse told me they are receiving one bowel obstruction each week.  Mine was from radiation damage, can't speak to the others.

I'm still receiving the liquid for nutrition.  Once I'm walking I'll be able to have the clear liquids diet (broth, jello, juice) and then I'll know that I'm really on my way to health.  Yesterday I told Steve I would have to refuse any future surgeries, it's just way beyond what my pain threshold can manage.  I don't know what I'd be saying if push came to shove, but it's been pretty godawful so far.

Oldest Son and Daughter -in-Law will be arriving tomorrow from Honolulu. They are worried about me and a I am worried about myself.  I've never been so disabled.


  1. Oh dear! I hate to hear that you are in such pain. I know you've been through a lot and if this is worse than you've ever had, it must be very bad. I'm so sorry and will keep you in my prayers.

  2. Sending you love.

  3. Why does there have to be so much pain? That is what makes me wonder about a "good" God. I hope they give you plenty of help with that when you go home! One day at a time. Just deal with one day at a time with going home the prize at the end of all this. I can understand you and your family worrying about you. You are dealing with some pretty serious stuff! I will hold you in my prayers too.

  4. May God hold you in His arms, in the same way He held Job. Praying for you.


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