On 01.02.02, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Too late for surgery, I had chemotherapy, which failed. In May the chemotherapy was changed and I was soon in remission which was celebrated and welcome and lasted nine years - until October 2011. There was progression in 2011 so more treatment was indicated and I am now back in partial remission. But I'm not only a cancer patient - I also enjoy my family, walk my dogs and am learning to draw and paint. Life is good!

Monday, November 05, 2012

Election night eve

Every week, when I stand on the scale, I'm down another pound or two or three.  I'm back in the 1980s, weight-wise, and never dreamed food would ever become such a noxious substance for me.  For some reason I do have cravings, however.  This week it is cold watermelon chunks; last week it was salty hard pretzel knots.  Once I stopped eating sugar - it's been at least six months now - the cravings began and are probably indicative of some nutritional need.  At least that's the rationale I use to fulfill each want in turn.

I worked for a couple hours prepping for Juvenile Hall this afternoon, but cancelled at the last minute,  I was in so much pain I couldn't walk out to the car and sat at the dining room table and sobbed instead!  If I took the pain pills as prescribed I'd feel so much better, but I don't like the side effects and keep hoping that this time, this day, I won't really need anything - and it always catches up with me.  Always, I'm a slow learner.  The anxiety - there's a pill for that too - is what really gets to me.  Each time I'm in pain I figure there's something that's been missed and I'm probably dying and no one knows it but me.  I'm told that isn't so, that the pain is the normal course for this particular tumor and the radiation to a very tender area, and that in another few weeks I'll feel much better.  I'm already in partial remission and am hoping that the current chemotherapy regimen will complete the deal.

In the meantime, I just sent in an order for the next size smaller jeans.


  1. Hang in there, kid-o! I wish you didn't have to deal with all this.

  2. Hey, John - Thanks for stopping by!

  3. It's been a long while since I've been by. Sorry you are having to deal with so much pain. Pain meds can be awful. All meds can be awful with their side effects! Hope the tumor shrinks way down and the pain goes for good soon.


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