On the way up

Today is my nadir day which means every day forward will be a little bit better.  We went to an HMO in Rohnert Park today for the blood draw - easy parking, no waiting, in and out - and then to Arby's for lunch.  Arby's for lunch?  I hadn't been there in over a decade, it's amazing what you crave in chemotherapy.  I have no need to return for ten more years.

I attended Sonoma State University in Rohnert Park so I used to be there almost every day.  Memories bounced back.  I had dreams and goals back then.  I would get my degree, accumulate the 3,000 hours required of interns, pass the written exam, face the oral examiners, attain my license, open a private practice.  It all happened, but I faced the panel during chemotherapy and hoped my hair wouldn't fall out on the table. The oncology pharmacist helped me adjust my medications so I wouldn't fall asleep during the questioning. I passed. In a rare role reversal Oldest Daughter took me out for ice cream, one food that was palatable.  That treatment ultimately failed, but that came later.

I need to set new goals.  I'm down to two - stay alive, get my next tetanus shot in 2019.  What was different about being in Rohnert Park when I was in school and being there today was that I had all those goals.  When I reached remission I found new goals that I didn't even know I wanted - lots of travel, learning to draw, raising puppies. See, even cancer gave gifts, or at least it did ten years ago.

It seems that I've been a different incarnation in each decade and this one has me befuddled.  What's next?  Don't know.  How weird.

Sights during the drive:  a mother and her two little girls picking wild mustard in a field, a red-shouldered hawk in flight with all its stripes on display, more sheep than cows, horses, a few llamas, a rural fence with porcelain figurines mounted on each post.... The route to Rohnert Park has almost no vineyards, it's still farmland and I love it!