On 01.02.02, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Too late for surgery, I had chemotherapy, which failed. In May the chemotherapy was changed and I was soon in remission which was celebrated and welcome and lasted nine years - until October 2011. There was progression in 2011 so more treatment was indicated and I am now back in partial remission. But I'm not only a cancer patient - I also enjoy my family, walk my dogs and am learning to draw and paint. Life is good!

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

On the way up

Today is my nadir day which means every day forward will be a little bit better.  We went to an HMO in Rohnert Park today for the blood draw - easy parking, no waiting, in and out - and then to Arby's for lunch.  Arby's for lunch?  I hadn't been there in over a decade, it's amazing what you crave in chemotherapy.  I have no need to return for ten more years.

I attended Sonoma State University in Rohnert Park so I used to be there almost every day.  Memories bounced back.  I had dreams and goals back then.  I would get my degree, accumulate the 3,000 hours required of interns, pass the written exam, face the oral examiners, attain my license, open a private practice.  It all happened, but I faced the panel during chemotherapy and hoped my hair wouldn't fall out on the table. The oncology pharmacist helped me adjust my medications so I wouldn't fall asleep during the questioning. I passed. In a rare role reversal Oldest Daughter took me out for ice cream, one food that was palatable.  That treatment ultimately failed, but that came later.

I need to set new goals.  I'm down to two - stay alive, get my next tetanus shot in 2019.  What was different about being in Rohnert Park when I was in school and being there today was that I had all those goals.  When I reached remission I found new goals that I didn't even know I wanted - lots of travel, learning to draw, raising puppies. See, even cancer gave gifts, or at least it did ten years ago.

It seems that I've been a different incarnation in each decade and this one has me befuddled.  What's next?  Don't know.  How weird.

Sights during the drive:  a mother and her two little girls picking wild mustard in a field, a red-shouldered hawk in flight with all its stripes on display, more sheep than cows, horses, a few llamas, a rural fence with porcelain figurines mounted on each post.... The route to Rohnert Park has almost no vineyards, it's still farmland and I love it!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails