On 01.02.02, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Too late for surgery, I had chemotherapy, which failed. In May the chemotherapy was changed and I was soon in remission which was celebrated and welcome and lasted nine years - until October 2011. There was progression in 2011 so more treatment was indicated and I am now back in partial remission. But I'm not only a cancer patient - I also enjoy my family, walk my dogs and am learning to draw and paint. Life is good!

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Spooking myself

I took Rosie's picture this morning.  The poor girl has been neglected - by me - Steve cares for her faithfully each morning and evening.

I'm having difficulty wrapping my brain around all that is happening, that I'll be starting chemotherapy soon, that I'm no longer in remission and that the situation is serious.

In addition to that, youngest daughter, who is disabled, will be moving to a board and care home later this month.  The timing is coincidental as the plan was already in the works before I was diagnosed.  She'll only be 20 minutes away in a household of three - two clients and their care provider.  Our daughter can't wait as this is something she has wanted for a long time - to get away from parents! - but I'm having so much trouble taking care of myself right now it is a godsend to have her needs provided for.

I have jettisoned so many of my regular activities and obligations that I need to figure out some sort of routine for myself so I'm not so much at loose ends.  I can't believe I received the full diagnosis on Halloween!


  1. Ohhhh please keep posting, so we know how you are doing. Watching your journey has been so inspirational! Don't give that stupid cancer any power. Sending healing prayers to you and seeing you joyous and triumphant!

  2. my heart aches for you. It is sometimes the routines that get us through hard times I think so to give up the routines in life would be difficult. Hoping you find new routines soon - I will continue to pray for you!

  3. I'm glad your daughter will be moving where it will be exciting for her and take a strain off you at a difficult time. Maybe Rosie and her crew will be a good part of your new routine. Them and the dogs. Some painting maybe. I am thinking you won't be feeling mentally up to a lot for a while and then physically not up to snuff for a while longer. Still, some routine gives you a reason to get up in the morning. I read the post about two of the medicines not working. I hope the old one you mentioned does the trick for you again. Boy, what a Halloween trick. Let's hope the chemo gives you the treat part in the end.

  4. Nice news for you all that your daughter is going to try a new living arrangement; it's a big step. And I hope that a new routine emerges for you soon--I don't know what I'd do without the structure of habits to trick myself into forward motion during tough times.


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